Father, Son, Spirit . . . or . . . Rock, Paper, Scissors

29 08 2006

–here is an article that ran last friday by Mark Driscoll. His humor and truth telling are worth the read, particularly the last paragraph–

The One God has kindly told us who He is—Father, Son, and Spirit. But some chicks and some chickified dudes with limp wrists and minors in “womyn’s studies” are not happy because two persons of the Trinity have a dude-ish ring. So, in an effort to copy-edit God, some folks at the Presbyterian Church (USA) who have free time because no one is going to their church have decided to consider new names for God. The entire fiasco can be found at USA Today.

The gist is that a committee (yet another problem) is compiling alternative language for the Trinity. Then churches in the denomination can have the freedom to call God whatever works for them because, of course, the most important aspect of worship is that the worshipper not be forced to deal with the real God. Some of the names being considered include the following:

  • Mother, Child, Womb
  • Rock, Redeemer, Friend
  • Lover, Beloved, Love
  • Creator, Savior, Sanctifier
  • King of Glory, Prince of Peace, Spirit of Love

Never mind that the Ten Commandments start with the order not to mess with whom God has revealed Himself to be. And never mind that Jesus taught us to pray “Our Father,” because Jesus never went to college and didn’t even know what a liturgy or a committee was.

But if the committee is still taking suggestions, maybe we could call God one of the following:

  • Rock, Paper, Scissors
  • Larry, Curly, Moe
  • Beast, False Prophet, Antichrist
  • Chocolate, Peanut, Nougat
  • Judas, Herod, Pharaoh
  • Paula, Randy, Simon
  • Fastball, Curveball, Changeup
  • Momma Bear, Poppa Bear, Baby Bear

And maybe we could start calling mainline Protestant pastors who despise God’s Word something new and compile a new series of title options for them, too, such as:

  • Heretics
  • Nutjobs
  • Wingnuts
  • Tools
  • Kindling

Lastly, I am truly sorry for all the real Christians stuck in this dysfunctional family because the denomination owns their buildings. It must feel like living with an ex-wife. Our prayers to God the Father through God the Son by the power of God the Spirit are with you. One day they will see that they have been messing with the Judge, Jury, and Executioner.

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How do you destroy a denomination?

23 08 2006

driscoll.jpgdriscoll.jpgMark Driscoll provides a helpful and barefaced top ten list on how to destroy a denomination.

I think #10 is my favorite…

1. Have a low view of Scripture and, consequently, the deity of Jesus.

2. Deny that we were made male and female by God, equal but with distinct roles in the home and church.

3. Ordain liberal women in the name of tolerance and diversity.

4. Have those liberal women help to ordain gay men in the name of greater tolerance and diversity.

5. Accept the worship of other religions and their gods in the name of still greater tolerance and diversity.

6. Become so tolerant that you, in effect, become intolerant of people who love Jesus and read their Bible without scoffing and snickering.

7. End up with only a handful of people who are all the same kind of intolerant liberals in the name of tolerance and diversity.

8. Watch the Holy Spirit depart from your churches and take people who love Jesus with Him.

9. Fail to repent but become more committed than ever to your sinful agenda.

10. See Jesus pull rank, judge you, and send some of your pastors to hell to be tormented by Him forever because He will no longer tolerate your diversity.

Here is the rest of his article.





Ice, Ice, ….maybe?

6 04 2006

winter_SFW.jpgAccording to professor Doron Nof there is a real possibility that Jesus did not walk on the water of the Sea of Galilee, as recorded in Matthew 14, but instead that he walked on a floating piece of ice.

Nof, who is a professor of oceanography at Florida State University, apparently has observed a high probability that there could have been ice formations on the body of water that hosted Christ’s amazing miracle.

Part of Nof’s hypothesis rests on the probability that this potential piece of floating ice would have been nearly impossible for distant observers to see.

Are you kidding me?

Do these people ever grow weary of these silly theories?

Can you just picture the Son of God finding a sturdy piece of ice and then rowing his way across the sea of Galilee en route to his weary disciples?

peter_nope.jpg

…and then to call the Apostle Peter out onto an apparently less sturdy piece of ice, only to support him momentarily and then give way??

 

 

What about the waves that Matthew happens to mention?

I can remember as a youth playing an morning game of hockey on a lake and then turning around only to do a little surfing in the afternoon. Doesn’t everyone?

The disciples didn’t say, “Hey, we thought it was a ghost paddling across the sea on his iceberg….” Instead they were freaked out of their minds because there was someone out in the middle of the Sea of Galilee without a boat!

I would assume that this type of reasoning would render Nof and his peers as incredulous, however, it is just the opposite, he is applauded.

This just serves to affirm the biblical doctrine of depravity and underscore the Christian’s need to fall on his face and worship the Christ who walked on the sea.

For if it was not for his grace, efficacious grace, in our lives, we would be spending our time trying to deflate Christ of his deity and make him an ice-skater as well.

In conclusion, Nof mentions that when he tried to disprove Moses’ parting of the Red Sea he received death threats.

This is absurd!

What a clarion call to Christians to study theology. This guy is acting like an unbeliever…what do you think a depraved man is going to do? He is not going to start a Christian blog to defend and promote the glory of Christ!! C’mon!

We as believers need to receive this providentially placed occasion to be reminded of the work of God in our own lives and to beseech the same God to work in the lives of folks such as Professor Nof.