act like a man

17 08 2006

I was again reminded of the pervasiveness of the fall of man. During a party at a lake last week my wife and I suddenly heard violent barking and desperate screaming. There were two dogs, one a large Great Dane (as if there are anything but Venti versions of Great Danes)…and the other some type of hunting dog, I’m not sure which kind.

The dogs squared off to fight despite their respective master’s frantic pleading. It did not look good. Within about 20 seconds the women were able to pull their dogs apart, each of them in turn barking back at their dogs for their violence.

Then you know what happened? A minute or two later, the man of the family sluggishly pried himself from the front seat and came back around with the urgency of a walk to a dental chair. The guy was a bit late.

Now all I have to go by is the guy’s actions, but let’s just say he was dressed for the occasion; complete with his pink undersized swimming trunks. He slowly made his way to the back and used the remote to open the trunk (while he was about 8” from it).

Why am I picking on this guy? I’m not really. I don’t know him and probably would not even recognize him. But what I am doing is pointing out the pattern of behavior that is systemic of men not acting like men and instead acting passive and effeminate, while leaving women to separate the dogs.

God has called the men to lead and to protect women, not to walk around passively while his wife separates the beast.

Since most of you who read this blog are dudes, here is my exhortation to be dudely which does not automatically mean you are godly, but if your wife is your leader than you are ungodly. You don’t have to ask God if you can lead your family, you already do. The  only question is how well.

It may be easy if you are blessed with an assertive and competent wife to just let her go run the show while you sit back and spill chips on your shirt, watch the game and your belly grow. This is not what you’ve been called to do.

You and I are to lead our wife. To tirelessly work to present her as spotless and blameless before Jesus, the ultimate husband (Eph. 5.23,25-27). Don’t sit back like a chump, but step up and be a man, like Jesus, even laying down your life and interests for the sanctification and protection of your wife. I fear that too many men are comfortable acting like women and women like men.

The church is not immune to this. In fact, it is all over the place. The church has regrettably been feminized by weak men and manly women. Like Lloyd-Jones once said, “There are no men in the pews because there are old-ladies in the pulpit.”

Why is the evangelical church 60% female? And a lot of times you meet men who go to churches and you find softies. Men, Jesus was not a softie. He was a MAN! He worked construction, hung out with fisherman, had the respect of sinners because he was real, had the fear of religious leaders for the same reason, and had women follow him because he was a godly man (THE God-Man). If Jesus walked into a room you knew it.

You and I don’t have to sit in the corner of the room and speak softly, drinking green tea and always say the word ‘special’ to be like Jesus. Instead, we have to be willing to die ourselves for those we have been called to lead.

Is your picture of Jesus one of weakness or strength? If you read the gospels and the book of Revelation Jesus is strong. You want to be like Jesus? Be godly. Be strong. Be a leader.




4 responses

19 08 2006

Thanks for the exhortation Erik…this hits at a huge problem in today’s culture. I was just thinking that while many women are guilty for the fact that they have taken over leadership, it is the men who are the root cause of the problem because of their effeminate attitudes and laid back, lazy, lack of leadership. Thanks for challenging us men to actually be men!

20 08 2006


It is good for us as men to remember that a direct result of the fall for women is a “desire” to be the leader (Gen. 3.16). I think it is good therefore to not only lead and be sure to be leading but also remember two ugly responses to the fall 1) men become lazy, 2) women want to lead their husbands. Remembering both and working hard to walk in the Spirit for Christ’s sake is a good solution.

thanks for the comment Jim…you are a man- ;-D

31 08 2006

I dont know about all the Jesus references But I too think men should act like men. Especially when it comes to shopping.

31 08 2006

Phil, Jesus is the picture of what a man should be: God-fearing, self-controlled, sacrificing, strong, considerate, passionate, loving, tender, fearless of man, and humble (just to name a few).

I’m curious what ‘Jesus reference’ you are referring to….

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